Saturday, August 23, 2008

What to Do on a Day Off?

Chop wood, of course.

I got to hone my wood splitting skills with an axe yesterday as Sid skilfully wielded the chainsaw to replenish the firewood stock for both the lodge and upper landing. Should be some good cookouts and campfires in the next couple of weeks.

I also looked at a fixer-upper type house down in town. It's an older house, and certainly has some quirks, but I also think it could turn out very cool if remodeled correctly. Fortunately, if I do pull the trigger, I know the guy who knows how to do it all, and hopefully we can work something out that would be beneficial for both of us.

It's a big decision, though, and I think not being on the river yesterday where I tend to focus on where I'm at I had a lot of time for my mind to wander. Outside of my relationship heartbreak, I think I'm genuinely happy for the first time in a while. The heartbreak doesn't go away quickly or easily, but it's been aided by the support of my parents via phone, and I'm very fortunate to have good friends surrounding me here.

I think I'm 1/2 looking to stay because I enjoy it and there may be some potential opportunities for me here, and the other half to prolong rejoining the 9-5 grind. I'm a little intimidated when I think about the winters, and wonder what kind of social life I may find outside of the group of "married friends" I've met here, but I guess we'll see. One step in the time.

Outside of the one major negative of being here, losing Kari, I feel like I've accomplished a lot of what I'd hoped by coming to Idaho. I've relaxed. I'm happy. I'm more confident in my abilities, whether business, fishing, or learning new skills as well.

So while my family is very important to me, and I'd very much like a family of my own one day, I wonder if I've been shifted to another path at the moment. I'm not sure why it turned out that way, but I'm trying to stay confident that the direction my gut is pushing me is the path I'm supposed to take. I may not be sure why, but I'm supposed to trust myself to following that winding road, and it will work out for the best in the end.

If there's one thing I've learned out here, things are better when they don't run in a straight line, and you never know what magic will be in store for you around the next bend.

Glad to report that my mom is leaving the hospital today and is being moved to a rehab facility. She needs to continue rehabbing and doing physical therapy until she can move herself from a bed to her scooter on her own. Hopefully she'll continue to recover well and she'll be able to get back to home soon.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Personally I think Kari is the one who will come to realize that she has suffered the greater loss.